Tag: christian

Ozzy Osbourne – Where is he now?

I always find it fascinating when a celebrity dies, maybe that’s not the right word. I don’t find their death fascinating I find the world at large fascinating and how everyone reacts to it. The news media, social media, and documentaries start popping up. Suddenly, this person is usually portrayed as such a humanitarian. Which, maybe they were. I don’t know them. As a matter of fact none of us really know them.

Sadly, Ozzy Osbourne passed away. I don’t say that lightly. I am sure his family and friends are all mourning his loss. I am also sure that many beloved fans are mourning his loss as well. You can truly connect with someone through music. It can feel as if they have spoken into your life. So please don’t misunderstand. Do not think that I am speaking of Ozzy Osbourne’s death flippantly. I am not speaking flippantly of anyone’s death for that matter.

What goes through my mind when such a public figure dies is, “Where are they now?” Obviously, Mr. Osbourne I’ll call him because I don’t feel we are on a first name basis, was a very wealthy man. I know he didn’t start out that way. He grew up in poverty and struggled from the very beginning. It seems he came from a loving home. Without his Dad’s gift of a PA system, we might not know who Mr. Osbourne was. He in fact was very successful. I know it was still a hard road. I don’t pretend to know or minimize all the man went through in a short sentence. I also know he struggled with his own addictions. I certainly can relate as I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. So we have traveled the same roads.

What I mean is, there is a very real Heaven and there is a very real Hell. You don’t have to believe in them. That doesn’t make them any more real or make believe. You will go to one of them. I certainly don’t know where Mr. Osbourne is. I am not God. I don’t know his heart. I Googled last night looking for articles where he talked about his faith and there were a few. In one interview he said, “I’m a Christian. I was christened as a Christian. I used to go to Sunday school.”(The Guardian) He stated, “I believe in God. I don’t go to Church, but I don’t think you have to go to church to believe in god.” (Men’s Journal) He also stated he believed in a higher power. He prayed before every show. He also prayed a blessing upon his audience at the end of every show. He states very specifically, “I am not into satanism. I am not a devil-worshiper. I have never been involved in black magic at all.” (1989 Interview) I think these statements are impressive. I can support each one of them. I’m a little iffy on the higher power. As long as he’s talking about God the Father and believing in his son Jesus Christ. A higher power can mean different things to different people. It also looks as if Mr. Osbourne was a very kind and generous man. Raising millions and millions of dollars for charities around the world.

I don’t know if Mr. Osbourne was involved in the Occult or super creepy things. I know that was the persona that he put out. He even says his stage presence was very different than how he was off stage. We have all read the crazy things about him. The bat or the bird, whatever it was, and I think a lot of that was for shock value. I’m sure some of it was because he was high or drunk out of his mind. What I do know is that simply professing to be a Christian won’t get you into Heaven. Neither will being christened. Even saying a prayer isn’t enough. I also know that being involved in the Occult and being a drug addict or alcoholic even biting the head off of a chicken won’t keep you out of Heaven. There’s only one way in. You may only get to The Father through the Son. If you believe and put your faith in Jesus Christ, you affirm that he was crucified. You acknowledge he died for your sins. You believe he rose three days later. You accept that he has ascended into Heaven. He has paid your way!!! What good news!!! So you see there is nothing we can do, we can’t be good enough or earn it. We are saved by Faith through his Grace. We can’t lose our salvation. You can’t go out and do something bad or say something bad and have to worry, oh No! I’m out. God doesn’t like me anymore. Even when we lose our way, he just stands there waiting. He waits with open arms like the good, good Father he is. He is waiting for us to comfort us and love us. He will guide us to where he knows our lives are best lived out.

I know Mr. Osbourne was given a personalized bible not long before his passing by Dylan Novak. It is reported to have made quite an impact on him. He is said to have insisted on taking it to his hotel room. Later, he would keep it on his bedside table. I don’t judge this larger than life man we have all come to know as Ozzy Osbourne. I am not standing in judgment of his life or of his heart. I pray he is walking with the Lord as we speak. I hope he accepted Jesus Christ somewhere in his journey on this earth. I wish to meet him in Heaven one day.

Journey Through Grace: Finding Clarity After Loss

It’s been over a year since I have posted a blog. I didn’t realize so much time had gone by. God has been impressing on me to make this a regular part of my week. I am attempting to do that. I have changed the name of the blog to Journey Through Grace. That’s exactly what these last five years have been. My life has been a journey through grace since God decided that my Dad’s time on earth was finished.

When my Dad passed away it was devastating. Just devastating for myself and my whole family. He was our glue. He led this crazy group of nuts. We all went to him when we needed clarity. Let me say we were nuts by our own doing, my Dad wasn’t the head nut, only occasionally. But there in lies the problem. I will speak for myself although I know others in my family feel the same. When I needed clarity or needed answers my Dad was my go to. He truly was the wisest man I’ve ever known. He was able talk on topics from farming to electricity. He could shoe a horse and build a boat. He may have not had an actual degree, but the man was a bible scholar.

It was not necessarily wrong to seek advice from my Dad. But I neglected to seek clarity and answers from my Heavenly Father. My Dad always pointed me to scripture and showed me what scripture had to say about certain issues. He was always talking to me about reading the word and my relationship with Christ. I don’t think I felt it necessary to deepen my relationship with Christ. I have my Dad. He has all the answers, what more do I need.

I was left spinning when he passed. He passed so suddenly too. Diagnosed with a glioblastoma and gone 3 months later. That’s not very fair God. Thanks for the time to get myself together. My Dad had completed his journey. I know my Dad heard God say those amazing words, well done my good and faithful servant. Now all I was left with was God and of course the world. Needless to say, these five years have been incredible. They have been painful and joyful. They’ve also been depressing and blessed. I could use every adjective in the dictionary because my emotions and my experiences have run the gamut.

My Dad was a great man and he loved the Lord with all his heart. The one thing he did was show me an example of my Heavenly Father and that’s who I ran to. I’ve known God practically all my life. However, I never had a relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ until the last several years. I now understand the joy my Dad had when he spoke of Jesus. I am busting at the seams for others around me to understand that Jesus. Life is not perfect. It never will be. However, it is a whole lot better when you can truly talk to your savior and you can let all your ugly just hang on out.

I’m excited to share my experiences of the last five years and just talk about every day things. Things going on in the world. Things going on in my life. But I’m most excited to talk about Jesus.

Love and Truth

Something I struggle with is how to share the truth of the gospel all while being loving at the same time. It’s not something I have always done well. Often times love and truth are pitted against each other. As if you can’t have both, you can only pick one. If you tell someone the truth of the Word you have to compromise love. If you are loving well then you have to compromise being truthful. When in all actuality love and truth go hand in hand. God is love and God is truth.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that who ever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NIV) This is probably one of the most well known scriptures in the world and I have read it and seen it hundreds of times. Not until recently did I begin to understand it. In order to know God it requires more than a Sunday visit. It’s daily studying and mediation in his word. The greek word for so is (outos), which means thus or in this manner or like this. The verse doesn’t mean so, God loved the world. It means, in this manner God loved the world. God loved the world like this. How does he love the world? By giving the world his one and only son. What happens after that? Whoever believes in him will have eternal life. That is whoever believes in him will not only accept that truth but will live out that truth. God has just shown us love and truth in a single act. The giving of his Son, Jesus Christ. Love and truth are not opposing each other. If you believe in Jesus you believe in love. If you accept Jesus you are dedicated to his truth.

Jesus does not condemn. That is satan’s job. We are required to be transformed, to pick up our cross daily. That means dying to yourself. Not physically, but to our own selfish desires, to do the will of God. We are called to be in this world, not of it. So if that means making a sacrifice to a fleshly desire daily, that is what we must do.

Being a Christian is not easy and in this culture it gets harder every day. We will never win anyone to Christ by hammering a person over the head with truth and not showing any love. On the other hand we can love someone right into hell by not ever speaking truth. We must be in our bibles daily, spend time in prayer and have a good church community. God will show us how to “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)

Anything But Jesus

I have been hearing so much lately about the Taylor Swift concerts and the Beyoncé concerts. Now Burning Man is in the headlines. What do all these have in common, you ask? The ability to draw thousands of people together at one time. Taylor Swift draws an average concert of 54,000 people. Beyoncé draws an average of 70,000 people and the Burning Man drew around 70,000 people. What else do they have in common? The opportunity to introduce evil to thousands, millions of people all while they smile and laugh and beg for more.

It seems rare to find someone lately that is not a Taylor Swift fan. Taylor Swift literally has a cult-like following. Concert goers dress as Taylor and it seems her tickets are in high demand. When you sing a song do you process what you are singing? You should. Words do have power and meaning. She is no longer the young teen who wrote Teardrops On My Guitar. She is a grown up 33-year-old woman who has definitely come into her own. In her song Karma, she says:

Karma is my boyfriend, Karma is a God, Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend, Karma’s a relaxing thought, Aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?

If you know anything about karma, it is a belief practiced in Hinduism, Buddhism and Sikhism. People believe that the god vishnu revealed karma to the rishis, or the enlightened persons, and that they carry it from one’s past lives into their new life cycle. Developing into the belief in reincarnation. She is proclaiming that karma is her God. Whether you want to admit it, she is denouncing God, the Creator of the Universe. If you are not for God, you are against him. She performs an occult ritual on stage and proclaimed herself as a witch in a previous X (Twitter) post. “It’s me. I’m witches. Never fear, the willow lonely witch remix is here.” Taylor Swift. You are not just watching an expression of creative art. You are opening your spirit up to a dangerous world. A world where the spiritual realm is real and evil exists. I know, I know, you are all thinking, it’s Taylor Swift, she’s America’s sweetheart. You are being over the top and reading way to much into everything. As Jack Hibbs, the pastor of Calvary Chapel in Chino Hills said, and I’m paraphrasing, evil will not come wrapped with a warning, it will not show up on your doorstep saying, evil inside, be careful how you handle this. Are we so naive to think evil will show up with horns and a pitchfork. Evil comes dressed beautifully, enticing you and making you feel great pleasure.

Now Beyonce, she just comes right out and says it loud and proud. Beyoncé says she is oshun. Oshun is the goddess of love, sensuality, and femininity. This goddess is represented, draped in yellow. Look at Beyoncé’s album Lemonade. She continually dons herself in beaded gowns and headdresses and yellow silk, taking the form of the Virgin Mary, Jesus, venus and the hindu goddess kali. She adorns herself with jewelry and clothing, picturing baphomet. A hermaphroditic winged human figure with the head and feet of a goat that is adorned with numerous esoteric symbols. Occultist Aleister Crowley also adopted baphomet as a symbol in his satanic mass. Her infamous alter ego Sasha Fierce, who she said she felt “come in to her” and “take over” is coincidentally the name of the author who wrote The Book of Shadows. Wiccan and Pagan spells, Black and White magic. So don’t get confused thinking that these things are all coincidence. This is idolatry and the summoning of demons.

The Burning Man festival. I have heard of the Burning Man. Also, I never gave much thought to the Burning Man until this year, when flooding stranded 72,000 people in the Nevada desert. Black Rock City was hit with two to three months’ worth of rain in just 24 hours. So, I said, Huh, what is Burning Man? Let’s take a look. Oh, down the rabbit hole I went. That is a hedonistic playground of pagan and idol worship. Created in 1986 by Larry Harvey on a beach in San Francisco, it stood as a symbol against corporatism and capitalism. Hence, burn down “The Man”. “The Man” started as an 8’ tall figure. Concerns over fire hazards led to it’s relocation after four years. Now, it stands as a 40’ tall wooden/wicker sculpture that rotates effortlessly atop a 35’ tall pedestal. Tickets go for $575.00 – $2,750.00. Coffee and ice are the only items sold after entering. All other goods and services are to be gifted, traded or bartered. Vice magazine wrote, “it is the ultimate departure from reality”. One sign kind of said it all. Non Judgement Day is Coming. The art present there, loosely defined, aims to help you find your inner self or connect with ancient deities for pagan worship. There are rituals and ceremonies invoking and praising false gods, an actual Thunder Dome (Mad Max) and an Orgy Dome. This years theme was Animalia. They strongly associate astrology with the belief that a human and an animal are interconnected beings. The piece of “art” that really stuck out to me was, The 60’ chapel of babel. The artist covered the chapel in black and white portraits of people, animals, flowers, insects and leaves, that were meant to convey that we all belong and there is room for everyone in all versions and reiterations of their expression. Which is contrary to what the Bible says. God did not create us to express ourselves in any perversion that we choose. The vision of Sodom and Gomorrah, if I could ever conjure one up, would be pretty close to Black Rock City during Burning Man. I had to pull myself out of this rabbit hole because the deeper I dove the darker it got. The Burning Man which stood as a symbol against corporatism and capitalism now stands for idolatry, sexual perversion, mind altering drug induced ceremonies and evil at its base level.

So what’s the point? My point is this. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12. Right there in the Bible, it says we are not wrestling or warring with people. We are fighting against spiritual wickedness, against forces of evil. We fight not against humans but against powerful forces of darkness and evil spirits on earth. Our daily battle is not against flesh and blood people but against mighty powers in this dark world and evil spirits in the spiritual world that are present here on earth. If you think demons aren’t real and that satan isn’t real, you are sadly mistaken. Satan was a created being. Demons are just disembodied spirits roaming around looking for a body because they have none. They would just as soon use yours as the person beside you. What can we do? Guard our hearts, study, not just read our Bibles, learn our scripture. Be mindful of what you watch on TV. Pay attention to what you listen to in your music. Pay attention to who you are friends with and find a good Church home. Coming together with other believers will strengthen you. Share your love of Christ with all those you meet. Everyone is searching to fill that empty hole inside them. So many people search and search and will try anything but Jesus. If Jesus is not the ruler of your heart, you leave room for “some thing” else to rule. Fill your life with everything that is Jesus. All Satan needs is a crack and he will stick his foot in the door. He’s pretty persuasive. I know from personal experience. How about you?

One Perfect Truth

Who can we trust? Certainly not the news. They don’t report the facts anymore. There may be some facts sprinkled in, but it’s slanted depending on what channel you are on. We are hearing the opinion of the network and only the information that they want us to hear. Fear is the job of most of the news networks and they do a fine job at that. Most of the stories floating around on-line end up being false and you have to fact check everything that you read. Even then, unless you are hearing it straight from the horse’s mouth, could there possibly be another side to the story?

We live in a world that seems to be falling down around us and not to add to the doom and gloom, it feels like that on most days. The nuclear family is under attack, our children are being targeted and the church is slowly deteriorating. We have just been told that UFOs are real and aliens have indeed landed here and we have been studying them for some years now. SAY WHAT!! You can pick your own gender at will and boys/men are playing on girls/women’s sports teams. Right is wrong and wrong is right. In fact it’s all subjective. Everyone has their own truth and is encouraged to speak it and stand on it. We are ridiculed for speaking or standing on THE truth. We are ridiculed for speaking and standing up for facts. No one wants to hear THE truth. Everyone wants to feel warm and fuzzy and live their best life. Well, I’m sorry. No one promised you that you could always be warm and fuzzy and live your best life.

The fact of the matter is sometimes the truth is painful. Sometimes truth makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes I don’t want to hear the truth, but I don’t want to have people around me that just make me feel good and watch me spin out into chaos as I wreck my life. If I didn’t have people in my life that would speak the truth, I would be a drug addict and an alcoholic, probably divorced and estranged from my child and the rest of my family. If you don’t have anyone in your life brave enough to speak the truth, then you need a new set of friends and maybe even family.

There is one perfect truth, and that is the truth of the Gospel. As I look around I am burdened for the world as I see it falling down, but I know thankfully how it ends. I know I am going to heaven and I hope that anyone who reads this will meet me there. If you know Jesus, then you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, then let me tell you. God, because of his mercy and great love for us, did not leave us in our brokenness. He sent his son, Jesus, as a sacrifice for our sin. He lived a perfect, sin-free life. He willingly, chose to die in our place to pay the penalty for our sin. He then defeated death and rose to life. He did for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves. Merely knowing this won’t suffice. You have to act on this. You must confess your sins, seek forgiveness from God, and follow him as your Lord and savior. It’s as simple as that.

So even as the doom and gloom news and everything else is chaotic in this world, you and I can have hope and know that we will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus Christ. It doesn’t matter how bad things get. God is always in control. He wrote this story from beginning to end. Those that do not accept him will be separated from him for eternity. My prayer is that whoever you are, may you not be separated from God. Now, it’s your job to spread this far and wide.

Power In His Name

There is power in your name. (Awaken Music) That is the song that is playing as I sit down to write this afternoon. I think we have forgotten that. We are all mourning once again as we watch families lose children and mothers, fathers, daughters and sons. It pains our hearts and every time we hear it; we agonize and the country becomes enraged. How can this keep on happening? Whether it’s a school or a supermarket or a concert or military base. Where are we safe?

Now the blame game starts. Take the guns, ban assault rifles. Better care for those with mental illness. Longer waiting periods between the time of purchase and the actual physical transfer of a firearm. It’s all the fault of the republicans and the democrats because they can’t agree on anything. It’s just politics that get in the way. If you think this is a pro gun blog, you are wrong. I am not stating whether I am for or against in this blog. Now is not the time for that. What we need so desperately in this country, in this world, is to call upon the name of Jesus. It doesn’t matter what laws we put into place, evil is afoot and is marching through our nation. We are in a battle for the souls of our children, our families, our neighbors, those beside us in the checkout lines at the grocery store, behind us at the drive-thru at McDonalds, everywhere we look.

Next week, this shooting will be old news, and we will have gone on with our lives. Nashville will still be picking up the pieces as every other city has done every time evil comes through and takes a piece of our goodness. We must not let evil continue to win. We must stand and claim authority in Jesus’ name. Every day we must all get up and then get on our knees and speak his name. That is the only way we can take back our nation and protect our children.

I have had my own spiritual battle this past week, and I have spoken his name and watched evil literally flee from me. Please use this time to earnestly pray for those around you and for those who are so deeply hurting because such evil has directly touched them. We need prayer, lots of it. God hears us. – “For where two or three gather in my name. There am I with them.” Matthew 18:20. My cousin Bubba shared this song with me this morning on a family thread and it spoke directly to me. I hope you will listen and it will speak to your heart as well.

Worshipping The Joneses

Unless you have been under a rock lately, then you have seen or heard the praise or the disdain for the performances and videos coming from the music industry. Whether you were in the praise column or the disdain column, our music has become a worship of everything in excess. We celebrate living a life of sexual immorality, accumulating as much wealth as possible, and having the biggest and best of everything. There is a desire to keep up with the Joneses! Our Joneses seem to be celebrities. We all strive to look as good as our favorite singer, influencer or actor. I’ll take JLo’s butt, Kim Kardashian’s waist, and Charlize Theron’s Legs…. I do it too so I’m not pointing fingers. By the time I’m done, I will have created a new person. Who am I worshipping?

CBS was ready to worship Sam Smith as they tweeted “We are ready to worship” in response to Sam Smith’s sneak peek at his Grammy rehearsal. Smith’s provocative dance included a top hat adorned with devil horns and Petra, looking like she was enjoying her place in hell. When they received a massive blow back, they quickly did an about face and removed it. They rewarded the performance with thunderous applause and a standing ovation. These are the people we idolize and look up to.

Rihanna’s Superbowl performance was celebrated everywhere and was said by fans to have made a “powerful statement” for women all over the world. Really? What kind of statement does it make to grab your crotch and then smell your hand? She must have grabbed herself at least ten more times during the rest of her performance. When we talk about a woman making a “powerful statement” I think of women like Corrie Ten Boom or Miriam Makeba. I am not trying to shred Rihanna’s halftime performance. You either liked it or you didn’t. I am sure Rihanna has done several things to be recognized for as she is such a successful businesswoman. My point is maybe we need to re-think who we and especially our young women are looking up to.

There is power in music. I need to listen to what is coming out of my radio. I need to think about who I look up to. Who am I idolizing? What am I worshipping? There are a lot of celebrities that thank God for their many blessings. Don’t get fooled. There are all kinds of gods, that’s gods with a little g. People can talk about and worship any of those little gods. There is only one God, that’s God with a big G. Entertainment is good and fun until it’s not. Oh, be careful little ears what you hear! Oh, be careful little eyes what you see! Remember that song from Sunday school? We should guard our ears and eyes as we guard our hearts. Ultimately, God is in control and we must rely on him to help us navigate through all this chaos. – For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100:5 And those are my thoughts!

The Rock

Do you ever go to church and think, are you spying on me? Did God tell you directly to write that sermon for me? I almost felt a little paranoid this past Sunday. I was beginning to wonder if my Pastor hacked into my home security camera’s. I mean the worship music, the sermon everything it couldn’t have been more spot on. I haven’t been in a while with everything that has gone on. That’s no excuse. There is no good excuse. That is all the more reason to go and make time for church and to hear the word of God and be loved on. Sometimes we are so quick to be so lazy on the things that we need and are so good for us and are so quick to pick up the things that can do us so much harm. So I made it back this past Sunday and I do know that my Pastor did not hack into my home security system but he sure did preach. It was for me, and I’m sure others but God sure did give me ears to hear on Sunday. Now let’s do this!!!

I leave church and I always feel like when I leave its like a football huddle. We all have our heads together, we are all given the plays, we’re hyped up, ready to conquer, we have our arms around eachother in a great big circle kind of doing a little jumpy dance, the Pastor yells break and we all jump up and yell, GO TEAM!!! That usually makes for a great Sunday. There is usually good food on Sunday, Football (I happen to know that God is a Steelers Fan, he does have a Terrible Towel). But seriously, church just feeds your mind, body and soul. It always helps me get a handle on my week and I can sit down and break out my super planner and schedule for the next day. Each night I sit down and write out individual things I need to accomplish for the next day. I mean right down to when I’m going to eat breakfast. Don’t judge. So here’s the thing. I have a couple of things that I let steal time from me.

Like so many others I suffer from migraine headaches and I have for 20+ years. I think I have been on every medication out there and I continually try new things that come out on the market. I wake up on a regular basis with a migraine headache so that throws my whole day off. A lot of times it can take my whole day from me. Sometimes several days from me. I also suffer from depression which has a really good relationship with these stolen days. It’s very hard to suffer from a migraine and be down a day or two or more. I can send myself into a spiraling hole of depression. The struggle is real and it all takes place in my head.

It has gotten much better. There was a time quite a few years ago that I could not function. I could do the bare minimum. Which was take my son to school and pick him up. I think I managed to function just enough to get through the day. It really all came to a head when I decided I didn’t want to be here anymore. I thought Wyatt would be better off without the stress of me in his life. He would not have to continually worry about me. I know JT felt like a caretaker and that was no way for a child to feel about his mother. He should be a kid. He should be with friends, having fun not worrying about whether I was going to be ok. I just wanted them to stop worrying about me and I just wanted to stop hurting every single day. So I decided to stop hurting and take a bunch of prescription sleeping pills and attempted to cut my wrist. I was so tired by the time I tried to cut myself that all I managed to do was scratch myself. Wyatt was at home and he was working in the garage and kept coming in because he felt that something was wrong and I finally told him what I did. He took me to the emergency room and I was admitted to St. Mary’s Mental Health Ward. I spent almost a week there, they changed up my meds, I was released and began counseling.

There are a couple of things that are important to me to point out about that time in my life. 1: Prior to this happening I had changed Dr.’s and he had changed my depression medication. I had called him for a month. I had made 4 phone calls and told him I did not feel right. There was something wrong with these meds and I did not feel like myself and was feeling even more depressed than I was before I started taking them. Each time I was told “Just give it some time, they will get better.” The last time I called I was told, “Dr. —– can not help you. You are going to have to find someone else. You need to see another Dr.” 2. The first thing I said to Wyatt when I got to the car that day when leaving St. Mary’s “I’m so glad to be out. The first thing I want to do is go home, have a cigarette and a glass of wine.” It is very important for everyone to understand this. I am positive there was something wrong with my depression meds. I’m not saying it was the total cause of why I did what I did. It is very important that when you start taking something new that is supposed to alter your brain chemistry you let people around you know. That you Dr. is attentive and listens to your concerns. You know your body best. My Dr. was negligent in my opinion. He should have brought me back in. Those little warnings on the commercial or in fine print on the leaflet can and do happen. Pay close attention to your loved ones who are on these depression meds. It was also important to me to get back to self medicating myself with alcohol as soon as I got out but Wyatt and I weren’t identifying that as the problem. It was the depression. I’m pretty sure alcohol doesn’t mix with those meds.

I am so beyond thankful God brought me through that. I didn’t want to die. My family would not be better off without me. God has things for me to do! I wish I could say that I turned everything around from there but you might know by now I think I know better. I know that is a whole lot to take in and maybe more than you want to know. I feel like a lot of times as Christians we feel we are not supposed to talk about those kinds of things. We don’t suffer with depression, we don’t do things like try to commit suicide. We don’t smoke, we’re not alcoholics and we certainly don’t get committed. We’re all happy. We have Jesus!! Can you tell me where that group of Christians is because I’ld like to make sure I steer clear. I’m not sure of anywhere in the Bible where Jesus said if you believe in me life will be one big walk in the park. In fact just the opposite. – Remember what I told you: A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me they will persecute you also. John 15:20 – In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 2 Timothy 3:12 – strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said. Acts 14:22.

As believers we are going to have hardships that we come under, some more than others. Some of our own making and some not. No matter if from our own making or from God it’s what we do with it. How we get through it. Illnesses that can keep us down. Depression that can take over our minds and bodies mentally and physically. Substance Abuse that is slowly robbing us of everything we hold dear. A lost job threatening your financial situation. A bad marriage, a violent spouse and you don’t know where to turn. An out of control child and you feel like you are held hostage in your own home. Gossip spread about you that has no merit to it what so ever yet it is ruining your reputation. Compulsive lying and you don’t know how to stop. Death, expected or unexpected. There are so many trials we will go through while we are here on earth and each one that belongs to us can feel like climbing Mt. Everest. I can certainly say I have not done a great job approaching some of my mountains I have come up against. My initial reaction has not been to immediately turn to God. That’s our flesh. That’s the world. If you are in this world and of this world you have a lot of options. Drink your problems away partying with friends, complain, blame, send your problem away, violence, denial, look to false Gods. None of those will bring you peace. If you are in this world but not of it you have one place to go. Jesus. You have to face the truth. That’s not always very easy. I am certainly learning that. I’ve tried for so many years to ignore Jesus and use the ways of the world and it finally came crashing down. What I feel starting to form under my feet is that rock.

I’m building my house upon the rock. It’s going to take a while but that’s ok. No strong house was ever built in a day and you have to make sure your foundation is good and solid. I’ve got a lot of construction ahead and I’m sure storms are going to come and delay my work. I just need to know that this house will always have need for repairs and additions. She’s going to keep on standing but occasionally when those hurricanes rip through a shingle or two or three or even a deck is going to need replaced.

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had it’s foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mind and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27