Tag: christianity

Pruning for Growth

What an amazing weekend! I had the privilege of attending the Women’s Bloom Conference at Mechanicsville Christian Center and hearing Kelly Minter speak. It was as if the conference was made just for me. God knows what you need and when you need it. There were around 500 women at the conference. I’m sure if you had half an ear open, you couldn’t help but hear God speak through her message.

Kelly spoke confirmation to the journey I’m on and staying on that journey. The big question, What does it mean to bear fruit in our lives? How do we bear that fruit? That’s me, I’m a tree that has been unattended and overgrown for so long. I have needed pruning. I have had an apple here or there and I have remained a tree. I know the master gardener loves me. Still, I’m afraid that if I let him prune me, it will hurt. I also worry that I won’t like the finished product. The other trees around me like me just fine. What if they don’t want to be around me after he’s pruned me? He might cut away the things that I think make me who I am.

When my Dad died something in my life changed. I needed Jesus. I finally had to face the truth. My way doesn’t work. Happiness is fleeting, joy is something totally different and it comes from the inside and can only come from Jesus. When I let Jesus have all the parts of me I was holding on to he began to prune. Yes, it was painful and uncomfortable. Those things happen when you let your old self die and begin to live and really follow Jesus. Some of the other trees don’t really like this pruned and shaped up tree. I’m OK with that. 50 years. It’s taken 50 years to feel this kind of joy. This is the best I have ever felt in my whole 50 years.

Don’t get me wrong. I still have my migraines, depression can creep in some days. Life isn’t perfect. I’m sure God will keep pruning me until he’s ready for me to come home. Who knows what hardships I will face before then. Ultimately God has got me. I am not in control. Of anything. He’s got this. I have to put my trust in that fact. God’s got this.

A couple VERSE’S from this weekend. – You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the father in my name, he will give you. – John 15:16 – He chose us. He appointed us. He wants us to produce fruit, and he wants our fruit to be long lasting. The father wants to answer our prayers. – I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me he can do nothing. John 15:5 – To bear bountiful fruit we must remain connected to the vine. We must remain connected to life. That vine, that life is Jesus.

I am just excited for life. I am excited for things to come. I am excited that drinking and drug use is not clouding my mind. I am alive and energized and can’t wait to see what he puts in front of me. You too can have that excitement and energy. Jesus loves you no matter where you’ve been or the choices you’ve made in the past. If you would like to know more about Jesus, send me a message. If you are curious about my testimony, feel free to ask. I’ll be happy to share. Till next time, watch a panda video, it will make you laugh!

Finding Peace in Pain

This past weekend came to a halt when I woke up with such severe nausea I could not move. I deal with chronic pain and look completely fine from the outside. It has been hard for me to express my pain to others. This includes both physical and mental pain. I wish it were visible to others, like a broken leg or black eye. It would certainly make it easier to explain and talk about.

For those that have never dealt with depression or chronic pain, it can be extremely hard to understand. It’s difficult to wrap your head around something you can’t see. Everyone has an opinion or advice on what you can do to get better. You’re depressed, you should get up and take a walk. You need a hobby or have you tried to talking to a therapist? You have, well maybe they aren’t the right therapist, you need to find a new one. Those migraines you have been having would go away if you change your diet. Essential oils have helped so many people, I bet they will help you as well. If you exercise more your migraines will decrease. Have you tried this medication or that medication? It’s not that the concern is not appreciated. However, it’s not quite as simple as popping a couple Advil or thinking good thoughts.

Do you want to know what has worked the best? Trusting in the Lord. It has taken me years to get to this point. It was so freeing once I finally did. I am still doing everything on my end with my Dr.’s to lessen the number of migraines I get and countless other issues I struggle with. But they are just temporary. I prayed throughout these last three days for healing. I have prayed for understanding. I have most of all prayed for God’s peace. The difference in trusting God with all that I am going through is that I have nothing to fear. God will bring me through to the other side. Whatever is on the other side is for the glory of God. It is also for the good of those who love him. It may not be what I have planned but who am I to know what’s good for me. Isn’t my Father in Heaven, the creator of all heaven and earth, isn’t he a better judge of what’s best for me? I’m sure of it. God showed me that even through sickness I can be content and peaceful. He gave me such peace that I have never felt before. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

So I say to anyone suffering with chronic illnesses. If you’re dealing with mental health issues or any illness, please know that God sees you. It’s not easy dealing with these issues but you don’t have to struggle alone. I know that one day I will be healed and all pain will be gone from my body. You too can have that same guarantee if you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior. That he died on the cross for your sins and mine and rose again on the third day. Our time on earth is so short compared to eternity. My weekend was so much more bearable because I chose to have God by my side. You can do the same.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5