Tag: Joy

Pruning for Growth

What an amazing weekend! I had the privilege of attending the Women’s Bloom Conference at Mechanicsville Christian Center and hearing Kelly Minter speak. It was as if the conference was made just for me. God knows what you need and when you need it. There were around 500 women at the conference. I’m sure if you had half an ear open, you couldn’t help but hear God speak through her message.

Kelly spoke confirmation to the journey I’m on and staying on that journey. The big question, What does it mean to bear fruit in our lives? How do we bear that fruit? That’s me, I’m a tree that has been unattended and overgrown for so long. I have needed pruning. I have had an apple here or there and I have remained a tree. I know the master gardener loves me. Still, I’m afraid that if I let him prune me, it will hurt. I also worry that I won’t like the finished product. The other trees around me like me just fine. What if they don’t want to be around me after he’s pruned me? He might cut away the things that I think make me who I am.

When my Dad died something in my life changed. I needed Jesus. I finally had to face the truth. My way doesn’t work. Happiness is fleeting, joy is something totally different and it comes from the inside and can only come from Jesus. When I let Jesus have all the parts of me I was holding on to he began to prune. Yes, it was painful and uncomfortable. Those things happen when you let your old self die and begin to live and really follow Jesus. Some of the other trees don’t really like this pruned and shaped up tree. I’m OK with that. 50 years. It’s taken 50 years to feel this kind of joy. This is the best I have ever felt in my whole 50 years.

Don’t get me wrong. I still have my migraines, depression can creep in some days. Life isn’t perfect. I’m sure God will keep pruning me until he’s ready for me to come home. Who knows what hardships I will face before then. Ultimately God has got me. I am not in control. Of anything. He’s got this. I have to put my trust in that fact. God’s got this.

A couple VERSE’S from this weekend. – You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the father in my name, he will give you. – John 15:16 – He chose us. He appointed us. He wants us to produce fruit, and he wants our fruit to be long lasting. The father wants to answer our prayers. – I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me he can do nothing. John 15:5 – To bear bountiful fruit we must remain connected to the vine. We must remain connected to life. That vine, that life is Jesus.

I am just excited for life. I am excited for things to come. I am excited that drinking and drug use is not clouding my mind. I am alive and energized and can’t wait to see what he puts in front of me. You too can have that excitement and energy. Jesus loves you no matter where you’ve been or the choices you’ve made in the past. If you would like to know more about Jesus, send me a message. If you are curious about my testimony, feel free to ask. I’ll be happy to share. Till next time, watch a panda video, it will make you laugh!

Consider It Joy

Things sure have changed for me in the last month.  I seem to spend a majority of my time at Dr.’s appointments or hospitals.  I’m sitting in the hospital right now waiting on the Dr. to come tell me that everything went well with my son as he had his tonsils taken out today.  There is never a dull moment here.  I think I had four hours of sleep last night.  Ya know it could be worse.

It can always be worse.  I guess that’s what I keep stumbling upon.  No matter what your circumstances it can always be worse.  We checked into the hospital this morning and signed all the paperwork and went over everything including my portion of the bill.  Which was not to bad since I’ve used the heck out of my insurance this year and hit my deductible.  JT and I were looking at the total of the procedure and thinking, What if we didn’t have insurance?  We wouldn’t be able to afford the procedure.  What if we couldn’t pay our portion?  We wouldn’t be able to get his tonsils out.  Now whether we get JT’s tonsils removed or not is not life threatening.  Think about other situations.  What if we did not live in a place that affords us the opportunity to have his tonsils removed?  What if I could never have gotten the antibiotic the first time JT had strep throat?  What if? What if? What if?  I could go on and on with the what if’s because there are so many.  We are so very blessed and most of the time forget that we are.  Your situation can always be worse.  How? Do you really want to know?

My Dad was quoting some scripture yesterday just sitting in the living room.  One such scripture he mentioned was “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perserverance.  Let perserverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4.  He was kind of talking that through with everything that he’s going through, Is this tumor from God? Is this tumor from Satan? Am I to consider this tumor Joy?  Are we to consider our situations sent from God?  Are we in them because that’s where he placed us?  I certainly don’t consider myself a scholar of the Bible.  I haven’t even read the entire thing but I am trying to do that.  By the way that still won’t make me a scholar of the Bible.  I think each one of us can apply scripture to our lives.  There is truth in each scripture.  It’s not that it has a different meaning depending on how you read it.  I believe it applies differently to your life depending on where you are at in your journey.  Does that make sense?  Maybe not.  Sometimes words in my head don’t make sense on the screen.  I think God does place us in the right moment at the right time in order to  “fulfill his good purpose.” Phil. 2:13 and  “work for the good of those who love him.” Rom. 8:28.  I also feel like we well I’ll say me,  I have to go about it the hard way.  Instead of taking a direct route to where God needs me to be I go around and around the mountain.  I can’t remember if I’ve seen that rock before so I take another trip around.  But that’s the beauty.  Not while you are going through it necessarily.  When you get there!!  If God wanted us just to get there he would have created robots who could not think and act for themselves.  We can, think and act for ourselves, and we fail and we fall and we learn and our faith gets tested and it produces perserverance.  That’s when God shows you where he needs you to be when you have matured and you see that rock.  You realize you have seen that rock 17 times.  If I just would have noticed the grafitti on the right side I would have known I passed that rock 17 times before.

So is my Dad supposed to consider his tumor joy? Am I supposed to consider it joy?  All these things that are happening are they from God? My feeling is this, the tumor is not joy, JT’s “faulty” tonsils are not joy.  Am I here due to my own choices or because God put me here.  I’m here by the grace of God.  He brought me through all my terrible choices and he will continue to be a good good father and walk with me through my choices to come.  Good, bad, silly and really, are we going to go through that again choices.   As hard as it is sometimes I need to remember to consider it pure joy.